New Blog Goal and Things I'm Learning #1

I think that people see life in a lot of different ways and that shapes how they go about everything they do. Being sort of pre-disposed to be a teacher, life as a learning process really resonates with me and definitely shapes the way I approach every situation. It just so happens that I am at a stage in my life where I am learning a lot. 

And naturally I find the need to blog about it. 

The college part teaches me the things I will need to know to pursue my career goals. Those things have their own challenges, but they tend to be easier to learn.  Do enough calculus problems and you master calculus. Read and study biology or sociology enough and you will master the concepts of biology and sociology. They are easy to assess. You either do well on the tests or you don't. 

Then there's the life part. Life with my roommates. Life with my long distance boyfriend. Life with new friends and acquaintances. Life with my old friends and family. Life on my own. Life with Jesus. 

The lessons college is teaching me are important. Necessary even, to me.

But the life lessons that I am being taught are infinitely more important. I'd go so far to say that they are the most important ones I am learning. And of course, they are the hardest. 

So, I am giving this blog a new goal. If all goes as planned, I will start using this blog to document  what God is teaching me on a week by week basis. Every Sunday night there will be a little blurb about what I'm learning. It has to be at least a paragraph. And it has to be honest. Those are my conditions. 

So for this week, the buzzword is patience. It just seems like every time I turn around, God is saying "be still." As a result I'm learning to rely on God day by day. Each day it's like, "alright God. Here's *insert conflict or issue*. It's yours today, do what you will." And each day I wait. Some days I get nothing and end up frustrated. Other days, I get a glimpse at what I'm waiting for and those days are the best. It's like seeing a little light shine through. In the evenings though, no matter what type of day I've had, I try to focus on being thankful for what I actually have. I have life. I have people who love me. And I have Christ who brings me peace as I daily give Him my life and everything that goes along with it. That peace... It is the only thing holding me together some days. I wonder how people ever get along without it.

On another note, can I just say that going to church alone has been a really interesting experience? Overall, it's been a truly incredible. A) Because the church I have been attending has left me feeling totally refreshed and empty and fulfilled week by week. And B) I've discovered that there is this weird freedom that comes with being alone. It's scary at first, because there are no familiar faces. Not a single one. (Until today when I saw my calculus teacher...which was awesome in the weirdest, nerdiest way.) But ultimately the faces don't have to be familiar because there is this recognition that that's really not the point of all of this. It blows my mind every week that I can look around at a group of complete and utter strangers and feel at home, and, in the most literal sense of the word, be with family. That's a little crazy.

Anyway. That's what I've been up to. Calculus class should be interesting from now on. ;)

Peace to all,

Paula

What Think Ye?

It's been one of those days where I wish I could just shove everything away; textbook and spiral notebooks and pencils and calculator and an empty coffee mug, all scattered to the ground, off of my desk just to let me focus for a moment. 
Or days. 
Or forever.
I'm probably not going to be able to really explain why I've been in such a weird mood but I'm going to try.
It started when I read about two sentences of the book "Letters to a Diminished Church" by Dorothy Sayers before going to sleep last night. The last thing I remember reading was the question, "What think ye of Christ?" and it was the first thing I woke up with in my head this morning. Then, in sociology class today we talked about Syria and what is going on there. My professor was asking us what we thought we should do about the situation. There were a few people who had opinions but the majority of us didn't really understand what was happening over there. He explained the basics, that Syria had a leader who was using chemical weapons against their own people. Awful.
So that opened the floor for discussion. Now, my sociology teacher is a military sociologist. I consider him to be very knowledgeable and trustworthy in terms of this sort of issue. He is in the army (has come into class wearing his uniform on multiple occasions, which has actually been really neat), he studies cultures around the world so he can help other military groups work together with people from other countries. It's been amazing to hear him talk about his experiences and watch videos of him and other soldiers interacting with the Iraqi people. He's made sociology my favorite class.
So the discussion went on.
Some people were saying to keep out. It's too bad, but it's not our problem. There were a few agreements from around the room. One guy made the point that if they are doing that to their own people, whats going to stop them from hurting us when they've obliterated everyone there? Then it became personal, but it still felt to me like...our only reason for helping would be to keep ourselves safe. It still felt selfish. Another girl said that maybe we should just offer our help to the people and if they want it, we'll step in. Another said, "let the United Nations deal with it."
My professor directed the conversation to a closer level, trying out the idea: Do unto others... 
What if you saw a person being beat up in the street? What if you knew about abuse going on in the house next door? What would you do then?
Would you keep walking? 
Head down, afraid of getting hurt?
Call the police?
Intervene yourself?
One girl broke my heart. She responded by saying she would keep walking. He questioned her further, asking, "You wouldn't even stop to call the police? You would really just, keep going, if you saw someone being beaten to death on the street." Adamantly, she stated she would. That moved me (more than it probably should have).
I had tears in my eyes. I was listening to her and asking myself that question prompted by Miss Sayers.
"What think ye of Christ?"
Well?
What do you think, what do you believe about Christ? Do your beliefs about Him extend to the rest of your life? How? What about in this situation? Do you know what Christ would do? But more than that... Would you be Christ in this situation? Would you do what Christ would do? Who is He to you, that you would do that, or not do it?
Do you fear crossing Him? Is he that real to you? 
My answers are now more than ever, confidently yes. 
Yes. And that answer will make all the difference in the world. 
I have yet to fully discover and understand the difference it makes. There are many ways it will make a difference, I trust that and it will take time and faithfulness to understand better.
But I know the first one:
It is the difference between me and the girl who kept walking.

College Post #1

So I woke up at 6 last Thursday and thought to myself: "This is it. This. This is the day you have been waiting for, for as long as you can remember. And here it is."
Then I said goodbye to Rhyno, (the hardest part of my day), and got in the car with my parents -Chattanooga bound.
There was a time I thought that day would never come and today as I write this post I have been here at UTC, surrounded by strangers for three days. Its not long, but its enough time for me to realize that this is real. This is happening and I am finally independent and free.
And boy, does it feel good.
My roommates were my first friends and they are so awesome. Each of us is different but I like that. It keeps things interesting and I have already been learning so much. I think we are going to get along great.
I've met a few other people at some campus social things and so far I haven't found a person I haven't liked. I'm hoping that on Monday the people in my classes will want to be friends too. ;)
The dorm room is always cold but other than that I have nothing to complain about.
Zoe and I are about to go see a 100ft banana split... Only in college.
Another post soon!
~Paula

Counting Down...

Hey everyone,

I hope you are enjoying the last of this summer and getting excited for the school year.

I apparently don't understand the concept of "consistency," but that's alright. I finally hit 1,000 page views and I'm pretty sure 800 of them were mine, so I'm content to go at my own, leisurely pace. (Thank you, if you were one of the 200 other page views, your audienceship is honoring.)

Would you like to guess what I'm "Counting Down" to? It shouldn't be that hard. Go on. Guess.

If you guessed college - You win 100 points and a virtual high five *high five*

If you guessed...anything else - You get a point for effort and a point for just being you.

Anyway. I have a grand total of 8 days before I move to Chattanooga.

8. Days.

Tomorrow it will be 7. One week away.

The next day, 6.

And before I know it, I'll be unpacking my stuff into a dorm room along with my five roommates.

Before I go into this, you should know that I don't generally like changes like this. I just don't. I never have and they scare me. People are always asking, "Are you excited?", "Are you ready?".

I don't know. I don't know if it's even possible for me to be excited and how will I ever be ready?

It's hard because I feel like I had no control over this college decision in the first place, and it's worse now, knowing that with what little freedom I did have, I made a mistake.

I know it will work out. My faith grants me hope that everything will be ok. So many people have encouraged me and told me that I've made a good decision and it'll work out. It will.

So I count down to the day I start college. And I continue to pray for peace and I treasure every moment I have before I leave. Who knows what will happen? It'll be an adventure and I'll learn everything I can from it.

It's already started. Lets hope I can catch up. :)

~Paula

Watch Out Chattanooga!

freshie orientation haul. Officially a Moc!

Well friends, I have survived freshman orientation. It was long and exhausting but mostly overwhelming with an undertone of exciting. I loved my academic advisor and he got me excited about the classes and everything. Making friends is going to be weird...Its just something I really haven't had to do in a while. We'll see how it goes.

Before I went to Chatt for orientation, I had the best time ever going to the range with Rhyno. :) Pics below!

The range and the beautiful sky

Just doin his thing. :)

scary. I know. 

me and the master himself

Andddd I'm back.

So it's been a while. Let's play catch up reallyy fast.

First off, I've now graduated from high school. The weeks leading up to the ceremony were a blur of end of school stress, slideshow creating, cleaning, shopping, family and everything else. I honestly don't remember much of them except that I was starting to get overwhelmed and then. Bam. It was over. Just like that. We turned tassels and cried through slideshows. (my cap actually fell off...but that's another story) And then it was done. I haven't had much time to be sad about it, though I'm sure that will come. Instead, I've been...well, traveling the world.

I was graciously invited to join my friend Victoria on her senior trip to Paris and Italy and of course I gladly packed up my backpack and boarded the plane to Paris with her and her sister. I would love to go into detail about everything we saw and did and experienced but that would take many words and I don't think I could do it justice. I will hopefully dedicate a post to it soon. For now, just trust me when I say that it was an absolutely incredible experience. I mean. Really.

So I got back from that trip completely exhausted and jet-lagged and overwhelmed, and immediately left for the Outer Banks to be with my extended family for a week. It was so wonderful to be with them and relax on the beach. Kronk and I made frequent trips to Walmart for extra entertainment and there were many walks on the beach and fun times around the dinner table. We decided to do Washington D.C. another time and stopped in Greensboro and Ashville on the way home instead. We saw the adorable little house that I was born in, which was fun. Ashville was great, we ate at this amazing little Japanese restaurant and had the best green tea and ginger ice cream ever.

And now I'm back. I can finally breathe and spend quality time with friends and go to work and play guitar and experiment with tea and coffee making and write and read and...get ready for college. Speaking of which, I have freshman orientation on Thursday and Friday. Good grief, time flies.

How are your summers going? If you wanna hang out shoot me an email! I'd love to see any of you while I'm home!
All the best,
Paula

Thank you: WHCT Tech Crew

The Fiddler crew 2012

This post is dedicated to my amazing, incredible, wonderful, super awesome, talented, generous and inspiring tech crew (from this year, and years past). I cannot say enough about how much they have inspired me and brought me such joy over the years.

The tech crew is kinda an amazing little team in it of itself because it is made up entirely of kids who volunteer their time solely to make the kids in the drama class shine brighter and make their performances run as smoothly as possible. The crew is mostly entirely unseen and unheard during the performances so if the fact that this crew is that selfless doesn't amaze you already, then let me brag on how well the do their job. (I get to do that because I led them for two years and was part of the crew for years before that.) ;)

Pretty much everything but the acting and costumes is directed by the techs. The lights. The mics. The sets. The props. The makeup. The sound. The program handing out. Some of the more unique things we've done include: Making sure lights don't fall over and burn the church down. Locating lost props. Holding up sets that like to fall down. Painting flats. Moving giant beds off and on stage without hitting anyone in the head. Rolling boats down the center aisle. Getting actors wet. Slapping mics on them. You get the idea.

It's alot of work but it's also a TON of fun. Backstage (in my opinion) is the best place to be, because a) the people are the best, b) it's always exciting and c) you don't have to worry about having stage fright! But I digress.

We've been through every up and every down imaginable as a team and that has been an incredible thing to witness. Being stage manager and a tech has been one of my absolute favorite activities I've participated in during highschool. This little family and team has been a huge blessing and it has been a true honor to work with each tech. I'm going to miss you all so much. Thanks for being so amazing and encouraging and just a joy to work with.

Love to ALL!