The new year has dawned. It shines in front of me; a tempting new start. Unwritten, blank, and full of potential. At the close of this year, I find myself equally reminiscent and expectant.
2012 has been a year of discovery for me.
Discoveries are sometimes beautiful and sometimes ugly. Some come by choice, and some hit you with no warning whatsoever. Some you wish you had never found. Others you wouldn't be here without.
2012 has been a bit of a wild ride (understatement). I am thankful to have lived and learned from it. I am also thankful to put it in the past and start anew.
I think I was in elementary school when I first was exposed to the idea of new year's resolutions. At the time, it was just a class assignment. I remember being self-conscious and wondering what the other kids were writing. I'm pretty sure my naive, vain little self decided that the best approach was to pick a very lofty and noble cause in an attempt to impress my parents and the teacher with my overwhelming virtue, goodness and wisdom. Something tells me that my scheme probably didn’t work.
Over the years I have recorded my resolutions at the beginning of my journals in hopes that I will refer back to them and hold myself accountable. You might have guessed that I almost never have actually done this. Someone tell me I’m not the only one in this club.
This year I have decided to do a few things a little differently. This year I have one resolution, one prayer, and some smaller goals scattered throughout.
My one resolution to rule them all:
In all that I do, think, and say, I will try to cultivate a spirit of servitude in joy and spend time investing myself in ways that will benefit other people.
This resolution is two-fold. The first part is a personal issue that involves my character and the person I want to be. The second part involves a physical commitment of time that will probably be spent volunteering.
To be honest, I cannot think of a better way to spend my time.
I had the incredible opportunity to listen at the feet of some of the most beautiful and wise young women as they prayed in the New Year. I loved listening to them. Their passion was vibrant and their acknowledgement of brokenness (both in individuals and the world as a whole) was sobering. It was beautiful and something that I will treasure for the rest of my life.
Their prayer was one for boldness in Christ. For the orphans, both spiritual and physical. For true repentance. For clarity, wisdom and peace. For forgiveness.
Those are also my prayers for 2013. I also pray to never take for granted things that have happened in the past, or the moment I am living in. To not be numb or deaf or blind. To be reawakened. To leave 2013 a better person than I am coming into it.
Anyway. That’s my New Year’s post. Get ready for a crazy journey and thank you for reading - and for taking the journey with me. I am blessed.
~Paula
“Because I have other things to fill my time, you take what is yours and I’ll take mine - Now let me at the truth which will refresh my broken mind…. I know my call despite my faults and despite my growing fears. I will hold on hope and I won’t let you choke on the noose around your neck. And I’ll find strength in pain and I will change my ways, I’ll know my names as it’s called again. … I need freedom now, and I need to know how to live my life as it’s meant to be.”
~The Cave, Mumford and Sons
